Monday, May 30, 2005

Satellite Radio Addicted!

Ok I knew this from before. I would rent cars from Avis and couldn't bring myself to return them, satellite withdrawal set it soon after. I had to wean myself off it, and not think about its existence to remain sane when I couldn't have it. Then Howard Stern - King of All Media had to say that he was going to go on it and I love him so much, listening for about 13yrs, I got the coupon to sign up for the year, the decision was made for me, no thought, got me a sirius satellite radio and now I am hooked!!!! Can't sit at my desk without streaming the music, can't get in the car without hooking it up - It just dawned on me - I am TOTALLY addicted. Addicted especially to the Hip Hop station; ooooooh the most beautiful and diverse creative UNCENSORED new and cutting edge raw, nasty Hip Hop. Hip Hop from all over the country (the durrrrty South mostly)I feel like I've been liberated from drop outs and "clean edits" of songs and those swooshy sounds that they add when the song is full of curses, it is totally liberating. G-Unit Radio ooooh weeeee!!! I never liked listening to the local hip hop station, the NYC playlist is repetitive and whack and they have to add in the lame ass R&B sappy songs that I hate, yes I'm black and cannot stand most R&B, gimme Mary J, some Destiny's Child and take the rest, Neo Soul is my thing and yes Sirius got me covered there too. I've been waiting for this all my life and now I've mainlined it to the vein and there is no coming back, no rehab for me!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Happy 100th

The year is 2005 and next month is June which is rapidly approaching what would be my grandmother's birthday and had she lived this would be her 100th year, yes she was born in 1905, which to me always seemed so unreal. 100 Years ago, but she died back in late 1990, 15 years ago, still making it to a ripe old age of 85. When I think that I had the great luck to be able to meet and live with someone from that era it is such a great privilege. She was born, raised and never left the island of Barbados, I'm sure she was the great great maybe another great grand daughter of some slave and the daughter of hard working country folk. She lived at a time and in a time when Barbados was a whole different world, a world of black nannies and their white charges, a time when you walked everywhere, no buses trains and a time where life was a whole lot different. She was able to live that time and make it all the way to 1990, 15 years shy of her century. She got a little senile as her days drew to a close and if my uncle wasn't such a bastard maybe she would've trucked on for another 15, crossing the ribbon on that century race that so many Barbadians seem to win or complete. I wonder what she would have been doing or what she would've been like on her 100th year? She wasn't the most warm person and could be difficult as hell sometimes to get along with but I thank God that I had the good sense to not hold a grudge and would ask her about her life and question her or what it was like growing up in the 10's, 20's and 30's on such a small island; the stories were fascinating and unreal for someone almost born in another century altogether. So as I sit here in 2005 I suddenly remember my grandmother's lost century with strangeness and nostalgia.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Prayer Request

I was drawn into watching the TBN Network this fine Sunday morning as my husband was viewing it on the computer. On came Bishop (the very young Bishop might I add) Clarence McClenden and after her was done with his babble the camera cut to him on stage with crew, praying and muttering over a stack of papers. I was curious; what the hell were the papers, I was promptly told that they were prayer requests. Prayer requests??!!! If we believe that God is omnipotent and omniscient, why do I have to send my letter into some Bishop whoever to pray for me. Its amazing how people view spirituality in the same terms that they view real life, I guess they figure that somehow their prayers will get faster response if they employ the services of a Clarence McClendon the same way I might employ a lawyer to speed along my immigration papers at the INS. I guess that they don't get it, God isn't like a bureau where you need a representative to contact, there is no "red tape" to cut through, no secretary to place you on hold or pencil you in for a later date. No, but if half these "bishops" and "pastors" let their parishioners in on this fact the flock might not be as forthcoming with their "donations", but it seems we are strung along because it is the trait of humans "ever to be fond of mysteries and for that reason to like best what they understand least" So here it is all these poor souls mailing in their prayer requests to be prayed over, somehow they feel that they cannot reach out to God alone, they need assistance, I guess that's just another faction of strange human nature. And I guess that's why I could never be a real great charlatan, I'd always be compelled to tell the truth.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Lunch Guest

Sometimes on this blog I take some time out to ponder other things that religion and the mysteries of human behavior because humans never seem to amaze and intrigue me. Well today is one of those days I tackle the realm of human behavior or in this case; misbehavior. So I'm sitting at my desk and look up to see a former (and very fired) coworker saunter down into my area, bid me a big hello and plunked down right by his old desk in his old seat. I said the cordial hello and how are you (since he is also a long standing friend of mine). I asked what brought him by and then asked him if the boss (the one that fired him) saw him and warned that if he did well - you do the math. He didn't seem to care one way or another, opening up his lunch he commenced to have a jolly old lunch time, filling me in on his new job training which happened to be across the street. Why he would come back to the scene of what I would consider an unpleasant place is beyond me! Why the way he sat there all comfey, you woulda thought he was still employed and on his lunch break. Well no sooner said, the boss comes down and is; to say the least - shocked outta his mind, he; not wanting to cause a stir was diplomatic and said a complementary hi, to which the ex-employee was more that comfortable returning, laughing, and proceeding to guzzle his drink and put away his large sandwich in his ample body. It was a strange and uncomfortable feeling, I was taken aback that he was so bold and didn't quite know what to tell an individual at that point. And why should I even have to. Why would you want to come back to an office, a desk, a position that you were cut off from, fired, let go? What good does it do, why use this former office as your rest stop on your way to or from any event in your life. What is the connection. But the intern summed it up well, maybe he never got over it, maybe he is still angry and still wants to get under the boss' skin, somehow coming back into work is NOT the right approach. I tell ya people never seem to amaze me with their lack of tack and class, it was crazy and disrespectful at best, to come visit is one thing but to come and have a meal at your old empty desk is yet another wacky occurrence in the annals of strange human behavior.
So here are the basic lessons after being fired from any job:
1. Never return (well for that last paycheck if you must)
2. Don't attend office functions that you clearly know the persons who fired you will be there
3. Don't whatever you do just don't show up, go to your old work space and eat a large sandwich!!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Another Strike

My husband just recently got a great new job, the next day his father got canned. I'm sure you're wondering where this is going, well he got canned from working at the good ole church, see he was the custodian, a sort of caretaker, handyman of sorts. He'd had an angioplasty done in February for a clogged valve in the heart, but he was so lucky, his heart had sprung 2 small valves off the major one to deal with the stress of that one valve being closed. Being the dedicated worker he was and being that the Dr. also gave him the good ole go ahead and a clean bill of health, he was happy to get back to work and be on his feet again, greeting the daily folks and kidding around with the coming and going daily flow of parishioners. But the "board" of the Church; with no medical evidence, or rhyme or reason just thought (after he'd been back without incident for 6wks) that he should go, they thought that his health wasn't up to par for what they thought a custodian's health should be - how kind. No they give him the notice, totally broadsiding him and my husband. They'd give him one month's salary and then ta ta into the blue yonder. If this is the kinda activity and behavior one can expect from an organization that would like to hold itself in some higher spiritual esteem, well there ain't much hope for nowhere else - or is there? I've never come across more twisted and humanly lacking people as when I started to move in these church circles, that is why I rail tirelessly against man's creation of Religion. I have only seen my husband more unpset and sad on 2 other occasions, he was hurt, crushed; how could they do this to his father, after all the work all he'd done; all that he'd given of himself, the all that he himself had done for them. The countless Sundays, running this and taking care of that, the events, the friends, the uncompensated and unselfish assistance. And after all that, this is the send off you get, you don't even get to close the door on your own terms, just unceremoniously pushed to the side, tossed out on your ear. The claim of being "concerned" for his health is little more than a bullshit excuse for their wrongdoing. This in itself serves as one more strike into my total rejection of organized religion of any sort, man in himself is imperfect and cannot even hope, as a collective to reach that so desired perfection. But this falls off the precipice of good taste much less perfection, one doesn't have to be perfect to know that this was wrong.

Burn Rubber!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Fighter jets scrambled over Washington and authorities hurriedly evacuated the White House and the U.S. Congress on Wednesday when an unidentified plane roamed into restricted airspace, sparking fears of a Sept. 11-style attack.

Run for your lives, code red, orange, blue...whatever it was 'cause it wasn't on that code today when a "dubious" looking lil plane decided to hover around the White House sending all and sundry scurrying and scuttling for their lives. I love how everyone talks the brave talk about standing firm in the face of terrorism and "we wont let the terrorists alter out lives" but when the shit hits the fan...boy heels are a burning up the concrete, as the more important mortals head for their secure bunkers. Oh yeah, they're not afraid alright, always on the lookout for the next 9/11, but just like that attack was different from '93 the next (if there even is a next) will be so much different that we might not be able to wrap our minds around it and it won't be as obvious as some poor fool happening to have the bad luck, or mishap of flying their Cessna or whatever over the White House proper.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

There is no safe Haven

I saw this story today in the newspaper and thought to myself - there really is no refuge from the madness and sickness of the world, no safe haven. Now here is this model society molded after the Bible with all the correct people living there and the apparent attempt at utopia, rushing heaven I suppose, guess try to make it here on earth and live out a supposed Biblical existence but even in Eden there was slithering evil sliding around on its belly amongst the trees and grass. It found Eve & it found Cain who killed Abel driving them all out of the supposed perfect garden, never to be recreated again, 'cause man at his best is sometimes evil and vile and capable of the most heinous of things. So here it is you've got 2 little girls senselessly murdered in the supposed perfect world of their forefathers' creation, no motive, no sexual assault - nothing just stabbed to death after going out for an innocent ride around town. I guess all their poor little defenses were down, I'm sure no one ever told them about the evil that people are capable of, they were probably raised believing that every one is trustworthy and just a-ok, after all this community probably had "no blacks, no Jews or no gays" all the things that are apparently f**kin' up the whole world. Well this is indeed unfortunate but again I say lock your doors and watch your kids, that world doesn't or never really did exist - there is no safe refuge.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

America Merry Go 'Round

America seems destined to be stuck in a state of cultural and idealogical paralysis. Nothing moves forward, sometimes backward but the culture seems bent on taking one step forward only to giantly leap back.

Sameness: Why is everything the same - all morning tv wake up shows, all the same syrupy sweetness with those hapless visiting yokels with their dumb signs. All the female anchors have the same "safe" appearance and haircuts, same dress, they say nothing new or exciting much less titillating, mostly blond and white. That's whatcha get.
And except for Howard Stern & Wendy Williams in radio - well they're all pretty much the same, call up someone, play a prank and well you know the rest. Nothing revolutionary, no hard questions asked, just gladhanding and pampering of modern day Emperors and their "new clothes"

Popular movies - Yep pretty much the same, white lead and if not, strong supporting white co-star. The unspoken rule being "hey can't do too much with the minorities, we're trying to sell movies to the "heartland" and those yokels don't have a clue what racial diversity means" please some of those yokels probably never seen anyone out their racial makeup. So that's why we get movies like "The Last Samurai" starting Tom Cruise - I mean really, or "The Mexican" staring Brad Pitt - ok go figure. Of course when they test screen the movies that's what the perpetually backward audience wants, still stuck in the dark ages, this is the new found and unspoken racism. No one has to say a word - certain people just get frozen out. And all the movies have the same dumb love story thread with the "happy ending" bullshit - can someone be revolutionary here!!

Saturday, May 07, 2005


America as of late seems to become overtaken by the attack of the Prudes - Prudes these tight assed, uptight, overly sensitive creatures seem to be offended by everything, from pee pee to poo poo, big bad dirty words, dirty dancing - at least what they deem that to be and just about anything fun. Yes the prudes have reared their ugly heads, rising up from a 50's time warp to wreck havoc on all our 2005 fun, they've got TV so uptight its like watching the Disney Channel on every network, why we can't utter a curse word, do a lil bump and grind or even make a risque joke, no no no, the prudes are watching out for every child in America so we should all revert to children, every grown adult. In bed by 8, no naughty movies and no dirty words. The prudes have returned...can anyone banish them to some hell hole please!!!!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Suburban Jesus

I figured out the reason why I don't like religion of any sort. I of course am a free thinker and don't want anyone or organization to take sole responsibility over my thoughts or opinions. I don't want to be tied to some group of people who think this or that and no matter what I feel deep down inside, now I've to go along with whatever whacky agenda or opinions they have. I hear all these people complaining about Church and the Catholic this and that and Judaism and whatever and you know what - guess what! You don't have to belong to any of those groups, who says that you've to be suckered into the alter call when they sneak that creepy old organ music under the minister's invitation to "come on up and admit to your old durrrrty sins, you ole scurvy sinner" You don't have to do any of it, or do you do it because you're scared that you might not get into heaven if you don't go, or that something awful might happen upon your exiting of the said place. Guess what, that guy up there a callin' don't know more than you, he's no authority on "gettin' into heaven or hell" or who made him gate keeper anyway? I'll be just fine thank you. I don't need to be suckered into being a member or partner so that you can siphon away my money to build yet a bigger church and forge ahead into rarer lands charging at full speed to Christianize more natives and deliver more souls to glory and maybe a few dollars for that Lear Jet.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Target Practice

Out Damned Spot

Target Audience

Where do I begin with this newest post. Ok so somehow, I end up at an Islam Awareness seminar, hosted by the "all knowing" Minister Reza Safa, former Shi'ite Muslim now one of the newest converts and crusaders for the Christian Church and allegedly Jesus. Yes he was here in PA to fill us in the evil religion know as Islam and its dastardly followers who are responsible for 90% of the world's violence, neck choppings and all that's wrong with the world today. Yes Muslims, the primary players in the signs of the "end times". We were going to be informed, well when I say we, I'm talking about the small gathering of ultra suburban older white women yentas, who were all "concerned" about the spread of this conflicting and competative religion and how to combat it, slay the Islamic dragon and lead all its misinformed and doomed followers to Christ and inevitable paradise. Monsignor Safa touched on many points, too many to keep you here stuck like the flies I know you are. I found his style to be a passive agressive intolerance of other faiths. He had the evidence on all his papers that he shuffled through, a neck chopping here, a maiming in Indonesia, an execution in Afghanistan and all the heinous and awful things that these evil Muslims were doing, he had all the ducks lined up, all the way to 9/11 and the new madness in Iraq, he lined em up and took em down to the gasps and quiet oohs and ughs of this small "concerned" smatering of Christian women. I'm sure that all they saw in their small minds' eyes were a marauding band of brown skinned people screaming Allahuakbar and pulling the string on a bomb!!
At one point the honorable speaker even made it sound as if McCarthyism was good!!!! Hey it shook out all those Communists from America, thank God for McCarthy, if not for him, why we'd all be saluting the red flag!!! Yes he taught us a thing or 2, or did he. Ok so Muslims don't believe in the diety of Jesus, neither do the Jews so why are Christians so cozy with Jews, they just love them to pieces and I don't think Jews give a rat's ass about Christians one way or another, they rush off to Synagogue without so much as a bless you in any direction. These last days Jesus is paraded around like a Super Star, he's white he's crusading and he needs YOU!!! Yes he needs you to "donate" some money for his Satellite ministry so he can burrow into the middle east and draw in these poor illiterate, don't-know-what-the-Qu'ran-is-really-about people in. To me it seems that the people are drawn in with tales of healings, miracles and mysterious deeds. No real spirituality but more of the same, hey follow this guy and he'll get you the best spot in paradise, and guess what too, if ya got problem here on the planet, well he'll fix it too. This branding of Christianity as some sort of abra cadabra type of affiliation possessing magical properties with Jesus being the head magician is misleading and disingenuous at best. That Muslims are capable of violence in the name of religion negates all the heinous things done in the name of Christ by whites to non-white peoples around the world, lets see where should I start, South Africa, the Americas and most other countries around the world. What about that, what about the violent crusades by the Catholic Church, anyone remember those, slavery and the justification of raping the African Continent of half its population to fuel the growth of the Western World. Maybe you need a little lesson Senor Safa, maybe you're just schooled in the art of the Bible and Iran, and should do yourself the service of schooling yourself in History, all types of history, Medieval, American and World.
Oh boy the good Minister, let us know that if we didn't get the right judges, senators and all we would wake up to find that the Arabs had taken over and we'd all be kneeling down and praying to Allah!