Monday, January 14, 2008

Fucking Garbage!!

Monday morning on the #1 train headed uptown. Place NYC, time, 8:10 am and I walk into "fucking asshole - fucking garbage!" 2 Men having a moment over the confines of a subway car seat. Ok, normal I guess just get it off yer chest and move on. The aggressor, a small framed man, maybe 5'4" and weighing in at about 130lbs appeared to be cursing at a business type who quickly moved over and out of the aggressor's personal space. But even with this gesture the aggressor just kept on, "fucking jerk off, garbage, jerk, asshole" the litany of curses kept going, and just when I thought they would stop and it was all over, boom again, out of nowhere, "fucking idiot, jerkoff!" He was totally having a tourettes moment.

Train semi empties at 50th and another unsuspecting business type gets in an has the misfortune of sitting next to the mini nut at which point a reckless, "fucking asshole" flies out of his mouth, but this business type was not going for it. He stood up, all 6 feet of him and punched the poor mini aggressor, to more shouts of "jerk off" and "asshole." He now also added that he had emphysema and that he would stab the business type. Business-type didn't take kindly and proceeded to thrash the mini aggressor with his rolled up newspaper! Well I couldn't stop laughing, it was a most preposterous and comical scene!! This giant thrashing away at an obviously small disturbed man! All to the shouts of his repetitive obscenities. Business-type attempted to kick the mini aggressor off the train but the doors abruptly shut and for one more stop I had the sight of a panting lunatic with some sort of sharp object threatening to stab and saying over and over again, "fucking asshole, fucking garbage!" Then one - "suck my dick!" to which the business-type replied - "if you had one!" And there is where I ended my comedic journey to the echos of "fucking asshole, fucking garbage" as I exited the train.