Sunday, March 27, 2005


So its Easter, the glorious alleged resurrection of Jesus from 3days of being buried after being crucified, its a rebirth, also the end of Lent; the ending of what was Jesus' long meditative walk in the desert where he ate nothing but berries, nuts and was tempted by the devil - whom he resisted. So we emerge on this first week of Spring, all symbolizing a fresh start, a new beginning, the rise from the 3month death of the winter. Like Jesus we rise, off with the black and out with all the fresh pastel spring-like colors. It is a time for the 2nd going to Church of the church visitors who go thrice a year, New Years, Easter & Christmas. It is also the time for the famous, or infamous Passion Plays. Yes those highly charged emphatic plays featuring the last few hours of Jesus' life originating from sources that we now know are suspect in their inaccuracy. So it was with this fervor I decided to accompany my husband to his church's "play", I thought, "well, why not" Well why bother as it was only another opportunity for me to've been put thru the wringer!! The "play" if you can call it that; centered around an opening dance, and consequent skits with no relation on a man who lost his job and lost his faith (although from his wife's account, for 25yrs he had none) then a mother with 2 unruly children; one going astray and eventually getting murdered. Oh I forgot to mention the 1/2 hour long monologue by the play's author as she assumed the role of pastor/pastress to alert us to, our turning our backs on the church, the Lord and all else - Thanks for the memo. Then came the other half at which I bailed, mentally. Then after all the theatrics, much screaming and overacting, lamentation and shameless ploys and hard sell of Christianity; came the pastor's final note. *Sigh* where do I begin...well basically the same stale message from my last entry 4months ago, bah bah bah, lost eternity, blah blah, get shot, in a casket, not in church, watching soaps, out clubbing, backsliding, no time for the "Lord", busy with everything else, backsliding, give your life now, you could get knocked down, killed, murdered and every other way of dying, blah blah, slip your hand up, bow your hearts, come to the alter, Jesus, lost eternity and on and on. Well I was almost ready to take my shoe off and fling it at the stage, THE SAME FUCKING MESSAGE EVERY GODDAMNED TIME!!!! Get a new sell, I wonder, does he get commission on the people that "accept Jesus as their Lord & saviour" what is the impetus for this sell, well after 4 hours of a dumb play that had ZERO connection to Jesus' resurrection or hardly an ounce of entertaining value my head was ready to POP OFF!!!!! I have now had enough of this place and have made up my mind that if I must save any sanity or myself I can never return, so it is on this day in the Year of Our Lord I am disassociating myself from this Church and the diatribes and will NEVER return unless doing business or thru some strange miracle!!!! I can chalk this up as one of my life's worse experiences......waiting in line at the INS is paradise compared to this, chinese water torture comes close!!!! Its now official I HATE CHURCH I'm totally put off, thanks Pastor Bacchus you did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah you succeeded in chasing me AWAY from the alter call - permanently!!!

Black Boogie Man

Ever realize how terribly consumed by race American seems to be or how White culture in this country is absolutely afraid and downright petrified of the Black Man in particular and Black culture. After 200 years blacks have live (more like forced to live) in this country and White America still acts like we just showed up 30 years ago. Drug laws, decency laws, prisons and all kinds of other limiting measures have come about from this fear. What is it that the White culture is so afraid of, makes me think that we've something awesome, that someone would fear you so much, that means you've got to be powerful. White culture runs amock trying to protect the "virtue" of their white women, that is of the utmost priority. Drug laws came about to curtail; not harmful use of drugs but the fact that certain minority groups in society (Blacks Chinese Mexicans) would lure away the wonderful white women with their magic powers. Marriage laws; no interacial marriage, good Lord can't have that, the minorities will marry off the white women, no hip gyrating music, yes you got it, it'll lure away the white women and have them swaying off with these boogie men. The white woman and her virtue have been the basis for lynchings, the forbidding of black men to even whistle or look at - the white woman. Even now I turn on the TV and the parade of criminality starts, and its always they're looking for a - "black male" "he was a black" male, rape, burgelary, drug dealing, armed robbery, car jack, murder and on and on. Yes good white folks, he's coming ta get you, get your guns, barracade yourself and get ready for the attack of the Black Males!!! On the show Cops he is the star and main character, shucking and jiving in his handcuffs, in prison he is the majority - hey more of them in prison that in college. And when he does make it, he's the disbaraged rapper. That's the new one, the rapper: strong, unapolagetic, violent, misogynic, sexist, eomen exploitive, materialistic, dirty, indecent. Oh all the bad things for the culture, the scourge of Bill O'Reilly; all what's wrong with America and black culture, if only we could get him in line, fix him and make him humble and compliant then we'd all be happy - won't we?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

The Case for Terri Schiavo

Everyone is up in arms today as the life force slowly drips away from poor Terri. Terri who's image with crumpled hand, lolling mouth and vapid eyes haunts us daily from our TV sets as parents beg and turn everywhere only to be turned down and down again to rejuvenate their dear vegative daughter. What we have now are 2 sides pitted against each other, those for life and those for a slow goodbye to Terri. But isn't it ironic that this woman whose condition as it is now was brought on by starvation will at last go out by starvation. Life is truely strange. Now the jury is out with me, the husband claims that Terri wouldn't have wanted to live like this....but she never wrote or said anything concrete in reference to the fact. I keep wondering what is his alterior motive. He stayed married to her, why; even though he's moved on, has a girlfriend; he won't divorce this Terri "the vegetable" I say just make your peace with her, and hand it off to the parents, after all they brought her into the world, let them (if they so deem) take her out. This husband seems a bit too insistant, guess he's one of those people who has to have the last word. Now they're protests outside, and the politicians and religious yahoos are out in full force. Who I really feel bad for are her relatives, those poor parents who still want to hold on, even if in a vegatative state. After all, in the video, her eyes are open. What does this mean now for everyone that slips off into anything less than the life we consider valuable, will husbands now off with wives who're comatose too long, too sick, too whatever, will we off with the burdonsome disabled, downs syndrome, not smart enough....see where I'm going, what does it all mean, well only time will tell. But for now, the debate rages on and so do the news reports.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Domestic Disturbance

Has anyone but me noticed how many women are murdered at the hands of their boyfriends, husbands or significant others. Am I the only one who seems to keep a mental tally in my head of all the heinous events. We're in March and already the slaughter has begun, 1st up, Russian immigrant woman, divorces awful hubby to have hubby ambush her at work, killing himself, her and wounding the new fiance. Next on the hit list Guyanese woman murdered after her boyfriend gets her here, woman stabbed, shot, choked with a belt....get the idea or do I need to continue. What is it about how these men are socialized that they have to become violent crossing that line between mere threat to actual murder. Is it genetic or is it a case of nature vs nurture, who knows but there seems to be a high ratio of these murderous men who seem to think that it is their right to treat women how they very well please (usually badly) and then become beligerent when these said women decide to leave. You get the suicidal love lorne and the homicidal. But just as I read a news story and hope that it would be the last one of the such type that I read, I get as far as a week to 2 weeks when yet another more grusome murder is either buried somewhere in the newspaper or sensational enough to hit the front. I sometimes say a small prayer for these women & girls and their families and hope that I don't have to yet read another one of their sad stories in the tabloids but as ill fate would have it; I am always disappointed.