Saturday, July 28, 2007

Back in Britain

Back in London again and how refreshing. It always feels like coming home - well sort of. I don't go home to B'dos that much for the simple fact that I'm on and B'dos is not. Well not in the way that I'd like it to be. I pretty much checked out back in 1988 and realized that I couldn't and didn't want to live there anymore and my mind just shifted. Don't know where the resentment came from, maybe the fact that I spent so many years studying and doing things by the book only to come out of school with no prospects or hope of having a career that would lead anywhere. Maybe it was the fact that you'd have all this education and have to look forward to a promising career in banking or hotel front desk! Yum. I just didn't want that and couldn't bear that for myself. After feeling completely trapped by this place I decided to make a dash anywhere I could and that was to NYC and boy did I take to the place in a big way. B'dos will always be my home, where I'm from and the source of the values and thinking that form who I am but B'dos has also become a place that I outgrew and after having done it all - including all the touristy bits; well it became in a word; played out. So now when I go back, it is only to show the beauty of the place to others, see family and that's that. Nothing really to get excited about or get into. Next guest I've to show is my husband - 5 days should do that. I don't know why the resentment but it is there. I still hold onto and hate the fact that after leaving school and getting all the required things that I languished without a job and barely got it together enough to make some money to make it out of there. It still bothers me - do I hold onto those things - I guess yes.
So here I am in London again, 2nd time in a year and loving it, and since last I've been to B'dos in 2000 I've seen Holland, Cuba, Mexico, Maine & South Beach. I'll try to swing by on a day or 2 I've free but don't hold your breath. Over and out! Heading out to try to get to the famous Ministry of Sound.



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