Thursday, July 20, 2006

Let's Play a Game...

...a game called charades!! Yeah, we all love charades don't we, except when people begin to actually live and believe the sandcastles built in their minds. Unfortunately I am now forced to work with someone living the biggest charade of their life, the masquerade is way more elaborate than any carnival in Rio de Janeiro Brazil. Blah blah blah on and on it goes, I think that sometimes the veneer is put up to convince themselves. It is incredible the bullshit, the fantasy has so much depth that I think the individual is completely locked in the fantastic world totally unaware that it is indeed a fantasy that they have created to deal with whatever pain. My co worker is nothing more than a self loathing insecure, insanely immature and ravaged by food and weight and dieting and all things trivial, small minded and inane. Only today she was going on - for the hundredth time about her weight and her 26" waist...(please read with a shrill high pitched valley girl voice) "yes my waist is 26" and my hips, and I'm curvey, and my feet are so small and I wear a size 10 I really am, look! and I'm 155lbs uh I gained, I'm now 165lbs and my diet and I ate so much and the job stresses me and I looooove food, I have stomach problems, I got a colonoscopy, I have Chrone's disease, well not the disease, the gene and everyone else is sooooo fat, or ugly and bigger and taller than me or more Spanish but I'm Puerto Rican and Irish! But no I've never been to Puerto Rico or Ireland, neither has my mother, but her mother's mother was a Russian Jew who met a Polish guy and ya ya ya ya ya ya and my boyfriend and my tan, oh I loooooove the sun and I get sooooo brown oh I'm sunkissed yes, I'm on a diet, I'm just drinking water and maple syrup and my boyfriend is such a slob and he's a fashionista, oh and this guy said that I was gorgeous and this lady wanted to know -"where are YOU from!" I am soooo hot! I am sooooo under! I have a BIIIIG job coming up yes lots of work. Oooh, did I get brown in the sun, am I browner, oh I just loooooove the sun, I get soooo dark, but I don't see myself as black at all, and my dad had a big afro and his last name is Santos but I haven't seen him since I was 4 and oh my friend she got married and she had a solemn mass and flew in a priest from Italy!!! and Jarad, Jarad, Jarad, yes and we've car service and he's an artist, stylist, manager, maitre'd and ohhh he works late, uh he was working, ah I haven't seen him the whole week, yah he's hanging out with friends, oh he misses that I have a 9-5 now and I just can't wait to get home at 5 and our gardener, our housecleaner" (pause to run hands pretentiously through hair while pushing back head) "oh the dressing is Organic! only 50 calories and that's so much awful sugar but I got these macaroons! They're organic but the calories, and sugar and Jarad's mother is a head nurse you know, and all his family is in Real Estate and they make money, money, money and they're all Italian, yes that's how Italians do it, oh my mom used to cook cabbage and corned beef, yes 'cause she's Irish and that Burberry bag, I'm getting it for summer, and the Dior shades, eeewww she is UGLY and did you see her, she got sooooo FAT and she is sooooo BIG! And my big fat ass, no way am I as big as her! gosh I'm up to size 10 and I fit that dress for the wedding, hadn't worn it since last year, a little snug - size 8! I was on a diet, I diet all the time I mean I'm shapely but I'm so fat and *gaaaaaaaaaaaassssssp* OI don't believe!!! And my lake house, yes we had a house on the lake and summers on the lake, sooooo amazing and we went boating and camping all the time and I mean we had it all, my grandfather was in WWII, the house my mother grew up in is sooooo big but they sold it and Oi have to go Spa, yes I go for facials and spas, oh it sooooo relaxing and I've NEEEEVER had anyone be racist to me NEVER! but those Spanish people and that place was sooo ghetto, and Puerto Ricans steal cars and Dominicans and this guy was Irish and Italians and food that they eat oh I'm sooooo under right now....!!"
Somebody give me a friggin spoon so I can GAG MYSELF!!!! On and on this goes, daily and weekly, this revolting nauseating vicious cycle of nothingness. The reason that no one even bothers to shine the awful spotlight on these glaring lies and misrepresentations is that I think we're all on the same page, this is someone so terribly uncomfortable with who they are that they have to resort to loudly proclaiming such unrealistic facts about themselves hoping that people will actually not believe their eyes but instead be hypnotized into believing the lies. The young lady is clearly a size 12 even 14 but to no avail, she repeats over and over like a mantra; hoping that we will believe that she's in fact size 10. Now everything else is up for inspection, does she really live where she says she does, is the life she has really true, everything comes up for scrutiny, I believe nothing that she says. Discredited, and just disgusting at times, it is truly sad, and must take a lot of work trying to stay on this treadmill of masquerading, just trying to keep one's head above the surging tide of bullshit and lies, how difficult. Keeping up with all that is amazingly hard work that must be tiring, because, Lord knows its tiring me.


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